I mean business

Honestly? I am having a hard time. Being back only confirms the fact that this is not my home. I love my friends and family, but I have never felt so far away in my life.

I unfortunately have returned to Utah. My visa has expired and bank account runs on empty. I have hopelessly been searching for a job in the states, applying for anything and everything that will hire me as soon as possible. I feel ridiculous running around in a business suit. No one does that here, why?

I found a school in Shinjuku where I will be able to learn and practice Japanese. School starts on January 8th, and I plan to be back, moved in, and comfortable by then. It won't long. Oh how I am counting the days...

I noticed I have become a complete minimalist, boxing up and throwing out everything I have not worn or used in the past 6 months, even tossing (or giving) away silly things such as unused batteries or mechanical pencils. A few days ago, I cleaned out my closet, something I loved to fill with that "I have nothing to wear tonight so I must buy something" weekend outfit or the favorite summer skirt that I loved so much but wore once. What a revitalizing feeling! Once a pack rat, now I look forward to de-junking and letting go of (or holding on to) old memories, good and bad.

It's been hard to let go of that small taste of life which I want to devour. I don't hear the extreme politeness of the convenience store clerk, or the loud jabbers of the people in the subway stations. I know things are so different yet such the same, but I want to FEEL it too. I guess I'll just have to wait.. things happen for a reason, and it only makes us stronger.

those one times

Don't you hate those moments? You know, the ones posted in Seventeen magazine about the girl starting her period on a date to the local amusement park with the boy she likes... while wearing white shorts? Shit.. That sucks, glad it wasn't me.... and glad it wasn't me last night stumbling towards the bathroom covering my mouth escorted by a friend while my significant other sat at our assigned table ducking their head in embarrassment. I'm glad I can somewhat control myself when I'm around someone I like or when having a few drinks...
I've decided that blogs are officially gay. Not in the way that makes you want to go shopping with your best friend, but in the way that makes you cock (hah) an eyebrow and say, hmmm, gay. So I will make this blog - not diary, an opinionated, silly, when I'm home and think of something clever, outlet. Hope I don't let anyone down on the "what I am now doing in my life" lurkers. However, I will occasionally input some life discoveries and fun photos to keep my readers somewhat interested in the odd life I live. (agh! If I have to change my system preferences back to english....oh Takuya...)